3 Lessons 3 Years on Tinder Have Taught Me

Tinder is just a door. And there is a person at the other side

Photo by The HK Photo Company on Unsplash

1. Sensory perception is absent online and you should replace it

When I meet someone in real life, my first impressions rely a lot on my sensory perception. I always, consciously or unconsciously, ask myself things like: “what do I feel when I look at her? Do I like the way she moves, stands, glances, and smiles? Do I like her scent? Do I like her voice? What is her non-verbal language telling me?” It’s all very sense-based.

2. Who you are from your written words vs. who you really are

All dating apps are based on a writing format. We all know the problems that arise from this. How many discussions are caused by Whatsapp misunderstandings?: “Perfect… we’ve been arguing for 2 hours and now you tell me that you meant it that way! So, we didn’t really have a problem, but now we have one!”

3. The volatile nature of (online) relationships

We are hardwired to create physical bonds. We feel deeper connections with people that we can see, touch, or smell. The strongest relationships (outside the family) are those that start and develop in real-life interactions and through time.

Concluding Remarks

I think online dating should be understood in the context in which it works. It shouldn’t be criticized just because in some aspects it’s worse than traditional dating. It covers a niche that serves a goal for a lot of people.

Half engineer, half neuroscientist. Interested in humanities | Words in The Startup, TDS, The Ascent, Mind Cafe | alber.romgar@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store