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Here’s Why Fear Kills Many Romantic Relationships
Fear is the common ingredient for all recipes leading to suffering
Some time ago a friend of mine was starting to date a new guy. She liked him a lot and things seemed to go well. But one day she asked me a question that surprised me:
“How can I be sure that he’ll want to be with me before going further?”
I said the obvious. I don’t think you can be sure of that. The relationship itself will tell both of you if it can work out or not.
I didn’t understand at first why she was trying to get that sense of security. In any case, if she wasn’t sure, why would he be sure? She wanted him to provide a sense of security that would pave the way to a painless relationship.
A month later she was complaining about how he wasn’t making things clear. She was unsure of what he really wanted. She showed me some screenshots of their conversation. He was talking normally; I could feel his emotions in the messages. But she was hiding everything she felt.
She’d tell me how she felt but would hide everything from him.
I told her: “Why don’t you tell him what you actually feel?” Her answer:
“I don’t want him to…
