My most awkward date after 3 years on Tinder
She was interesting. She was funny. She was beautiful. What could go wrong?
Online dating can be great. It offers some possibilities that usually are not available through traditional dating. You can talk to many people at the same time. You can meet people from different places, even from places far away from you. You can choose people depending on your hobbies and likes, and so on.
But it also has drawbacks. Sometimes it’s difficult to truly get to know someone by texting. “Ghosting” and other similar behaviors have become so common that people keep inventing terms for them. And also, people go to the point of writing in their bios things like: “If you don’t look like your pic, you are paying my drinks until you do!”
It’s all jokes until it isn’t.
Well, I think the title makes it clear that this is a story about the latter. I will share with you my most awkward experience in the 3 years I spent on Tinder. It was not fun at the time. Now you will laugh!
It all started when I saw this girl on Tinder, I’ll call her Adriana. She was a beautiful Brazilian girl who was studying law and wanted to move to Spain for the summer. For you to get a sense of what I’m talking about: she had long blonde hair, a voluptuous figure, and a charming glance.
We matched and started talking right away. I didn’t have any goal in mind, as I was also talking with other girls at the time. But soon, Adriana caught my attention more than the others. She had good conversation, was respectful and had this touch of naughtiness that I love.
We talked about many things: our families and friends, what we liked to do in our free time, what we expected from Tinder, our views on relationships. We also flirted a lot in between long deep conversations. It was a very good mixture and I enjoyed a lot chatting with her. I was excited for her to come to visit.
Few weeks passed and the day arrived. Adriana took a plane and landed in Spain. She would live with an old woman, Margaret, who would take care of her meals and clothes. But she knew no one else. I was quite shocked when she told me:
“I’ve never been to Spain before”. She said.
“Wait, but you have family here, right?” I was already surprised.
“No, I don’t know anyone there. Not even the woman I will live with. I only know you”.
“Wow…” I thought. How could she say that so casually? She didn’t know me.
That was the first red flag, which I ignored completely. We arranged a date for the following day. I would show her around my neighborhood and then we would come to my house to see a movie (yeah, right).
I went to the train station. I was a little bit nervous, to be honest. She was pretty and we had been talking for the past month. It was as if we knew each other for ages, but in reality, we had never seen each other.
I waited for her at the entrance. And there she was. A cute girl, as I expected. One head below me, perfect! Cute clothes and she moved with inherent sexiness. I was thrilled. She got to where I was and I said in Spanish: “Hi Adriana! We meet at last, welcome to Spain!” She stared at me and said “hi” with a shy smile.
It felt a little bit weird, but I ascribed it to her nervousness. I kept talking: “How was your trip? Have you already settled in your house? Is Margaret nice?” I kept asking and her face didn’t change a bit.
Then she said something I won’t forget: “I don’t understand you.”
I couldn’t quite hide the expression in my face.
“What?” I thought. “What is she talking about? We’ve been talking non-stop the last month.” And then it dawned on me: “Oh my god, has she been using Google translator all this time…?” I was getting upset. She had lied to me. Although I never asked…
What could I do? I was already stuck in that situation and I remembered that she knew no one. We had to work it out somehow. I asked, hopeful: “you don’t speak Spanish, do you?” “No” she muttered. “Do you speak English at least?” “No.” “Well, I don’t speak Portuguese so this is going to be fun…” I said out loud, although I knew she didn’t understand me.
I had been talking with this girl for a month. I knew a lot of things about her. I knew who her brothers were, that she used to go to the beach in the afternoons, that she really liked to dance and was about to graduate from law school… and there we were, standing next to each other without any means to communicate.
“This is going to be a nice story.” I thought.
We kept walking and I kept changing topics. I was immersed in my monologue, with occasional interruptions from her to say things like: “you are handsome” or “hi” again. As if I had forgotten she was there.
I couldn’t believe I was actually going to watch a movie with her (or whatever she had in mind). We sat down on my couch and I offered her a drink. We decided to watch La La Land in English, because whatever.
While watching the movie (which I had already watched but was suddenly quite interesting again, God knows why), she started getting closer to me. She put her head on my shoulder and made some attempts to kiss me, which I subtly rejected.
As you can imagine, I hadn’t expected to watch a movie with her. But I did. And by the time it finished, I wished it could last another hour.
She excused herself a moment to go to the toilet and I harnessed the moment of freedom to text one friend and tell him what was happening. I was about to tell him that we were at my house when she appeared at the door, wearing only her panties and bra. I was speechless.
At which point in the “date” did she think it was a good idea to get half-naked, with her clothes in my bathroom, to try to sleep with me!? I was a stranger and she didn’t know anyone else in the country! Well, obviously she didn’t care and I had to deal with it.
She got closer to me but I had had enough. I stood up and told her to get dressed mimicking the gestures. We wouldn’t have sex that day. I accompanied her to the station as fast as I could. I wanted to get over with it. We said bye and I didn’t look back.
To top it off, she later texted me saying: “If you didn’t enjoy, you can tell me”.
Well, I didn’t! (But the movie is quite nice).