Male Singledom Is Finally Dead

One more digital addiction for you, son

The Seasons by Alfons Mucha, 1897 (public domain)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a computer must be in want of an AI girlfriend.

— Arwa Mahdawi

I. Girlfriends, Inc.

Young people are not having sex. They are not hanging out. They’re lonely. They’re playing video games, watching porn, and scrolling social media. They’re more anxious and more depressed than ever. They worship nothing except themselves.

That’s why tech companies, in their typically generous approach to such social issues, have offered the perfect solution: manufactured girlfriends.

Yes, yes, a technological solution to a social problem is a bad idea. But you haven’t thought it through:

• You don’t want to have sex? No problem, your virtual partner is low maintenance. She doesn’t need food or water — even oxygen! Surely won’t ask you for some sexy time every night.
• Hanging out is for corporeal folk, so your lovely chatbot won’t bother you with such banalities.
• It’ll keep you company, though, and play video games (much better than you).